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Depression and me

Jacqueline Mary Phillips Hyp;Mhf

I suffered with depression from my early teens through to my late twenties. I self-harmed, had panic attacks, attempted suicide and was threatened with being sectioned in a mental health hospital. I spent my days cutting my arms to relieve the painful memories of the past and fearful thoughts of a bleak, anxious and depressing future.

I spent my evenings in the lounge of a private mental health hospital, watching telly and chatting with a famous actor, legal barrister and a member of aristocracy. Eventually the actor died, and my other friends went back to their lives with a bag full of drugs and a wish of good luck!

During my stay in hospital (a period of 2 years off and on) I was used as a case study for a nurse, a guinea pig for new techniques by my psychologist, and my psychiatrist gave me the latest depression drugs to try. I soon came to realise that although everyone was doing their best for me no-one person really knew what to do with me, except try new things. I became tired of trying to be happy and live, surely death was an easier option - I thought.

When I was told that I would most likely suffer with depression periodically for the rest of my life I asked my psychiatrist how she knew that, she replied, 'because of your family history, and depressive episodes’. That was the beginning of my Self Empowerment Journey, the moment that changed my life forever.

I realised that the answer I had been looking for was within me!

It all suddenly seemed so very clear and obvious, that the reason no one person could help, was because the only person that could help me, was me. Then the only question I was left with was how?

My aim in giving you a window into my experiences of depression is to show you that you too can be depression free. No matter how bad you may feel right now, and for some I know you may feel tortured by your mind and emotions, but no matter how bad it is, I know, everything can change, and you can live depression free. You simply need to learn how.

I have been depression free for over 25 years and what I learnt is now available to you through the SEJ Process.

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